| THE ELLI SITE / SOUTH PARK | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Dressing up like Hitler is not Bad ass....... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Hail Hitler! South Park is the late night adult cartoon show that stars four cute (but bad mouthed) 8 year olds called Stan, Kyle, Cartman & Kenny. South Park is one of those shows that takes the piss out of everyone (eg Barbara Streisand) and gets away with it. My favourite character is Ike, but heres the profiles of the 4 main characters Name: Stan Marsh Family: Mum, Dad and sister (Shelly) Pets: Sparky (homosexual dog) Habits: Throwing up other Wendy Testeburger. Catchphrases: Dude-This is pretty f**ked up right here & Oh My God! They Killed Kenny! Name: Kyle Brovfloski Family: Mum, Dad and adopted Canadian brother (Ike) Pets: Mail Order Elephant Habits: Kicking his little brother Catchphrases: Kick the Baby! & You Bastards! Name: Eric Cartman Family: A Mother that�s really his father as she�s a hermaphrodite Pets: Kitty (Cat) Fluffy (Pig) Habits: Eating, Swearing, Insulting people & being selfish Catchphrases: I�m not fat I�m big boned! & No Kitty thats a bad Kitty! Name: Kenny Mccormick Family: Mother, Father & Brother Pets: Can�t afford one Habits: Getting Killed almost every episode and Muffling rude words. Catchphrases: mmph mm-mmph! (I�m Okay!) mmmmmph! (Aaargh!!) | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| Going on down to South Park | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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If you like South Park then you�ll know that Kenny (the dude in the Orange hood for all you that don�t know) dies in every episode �Oh my god they Killed Kenny�. well here all the deaths for Series 1 &2: Cartman gets an Anul probe Zapped by a UFO, trampled by cows and then run over by Officer Barbrady. Weight Gain 4000 Mr. Garrison shoots at Kathy Lee,but misses and hits Kenny and Kenny lands head first on a South Park flagpole. A Pig Makes Love to an Elephant Kenny is thrown in the microwave by the mutant clone of Stan and comes out totally burnt. Big gay Al�s Big gay Boat ride Ripped apart by the middle park defence. Death Kenny is touched by the Grim Reaper. Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo Kenny stays alive. Pinkeye, Hallow�een special Kenny is squahed by a space station and comes back as a zombie. He then gets sawn in half with a chain-saw by Kyle, and when he once more comes back from the dead a plane and then a statue fall on him. Tom�s Rhinoplasty Ms. Ellen throws an Iraqi army sword, which pierces Kenny�s head right between the eyes and pins him to the wall. Damien Kenny has been turned into a duck billed platypus by Damien and at the end of the fight he is shot by Stans Uncle Jimbo. Volcano Hit and crushed by a flying, flaming boulder, then shot by Ned�s discarded gun. Mecha-Streisand Accidentally hangs himself while playing tetherball. Starvin� Marvin Eating alive by Mutant turkeys. Cartmans Mum is a Dirty Slut Dragged by the pull-cord of a go-kart and then run over by a train. Cartman�s Mum is still a Dirty Slut Uses himself as a conducter to power the hospital so Mephesto can live. Ike�s wee wee Falls into an open grave and the tombstone then squashes him. Chickenlover Crushed by a falling pine tree. Conjoined Fetus Lady Slammed into the wall by a speeding chinese dodgeball The Mexican staring frog of Southern Sri Lanka Ripped apart by audience members of �Jesus & Pals�. City on the Edge of forever Eaten by a big scary monster, and killed in a flashback by Fonzies Motorbike. Summer Sucks Crushed by a fence toppled by a falling pillar of black ash. Chef�s Salty Chocolate ball�s Trampled by festival goers. Chickenpox Heart failure whilst in hospital. Roger Ebert should lay off the Fatty foods Head blown off while Stan & Kyle experiment with the planetarium projector. Clubhouses Trampled by teenagers. Cow Days Impaled by the horn of a charging bull. Chef Aid Head bitten off by Ozzy Osbourne. Spooky Fish Eye & brain eaten by the evil goldfish. Merry Christmas Charlie Manson! Shot by the SWAT team. Gnomes Crushed by an underwear bin. Prehistoric Ice Man Pulled under a conveyor belt. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Spirit of Christmas | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
The first ever South park episode was a short called �The Spirit of Christmas� Which was a 5 minute short. Here is the script (Note: This is censored but in the cartoon there are no bleeps um-kay?): | Music. Scene: Snowy hill: Kyle We wish you a merry Christmas, We wish you a merry Christmas, We wish you a merry Christmas� Stan What? Wait a minute. Kyle What? Stan Aren�t you Jewish Kyle? Kyle Yeah, I think so. Stan Dude, Jewish people don�t celebrate Christmas. Kyle What? Stan You�re sposed to sing Hannukah songs! Kyle �Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay, Dreidel dreidel dreidel�� Stan That�s a stupid song. Cartman Yeah, hannukah sucks. Kyle Don�t you oppress me, fat boy. Cartman Don�t call me fat buttf**ker. Kyle Then don�t belittle my people you f**kin� fatass! Cartman Gaddammit don�t call me fat you buttf**kin� son of a bitch Jesus floats down from the sky. Kyle What the� Kenny Zips up hood. Jesus Behold my glory. Stan Holy shit, it�s Jesus! Cartman What are you doing in South Park, Jesus? Jesus I come seeking...retribution. Stan *gasp* he�s come to kill you cuz you�re Jewish, Kyle. Kyle Oh, f**k! I�m sorry, Jesus. Don�t kill me. Jesus Nay, fear not. I Love All My Children Kyle *whew* Jesus Tommorow is my birthday. Yet all is not right. Stan You�re birthday is on Christmas? That sucks, dude. Jesus I must find a place called �The Mall�. Kyle Well we can take you to the mall, Jesus. Stan Yeah! It�s over this way. Kyle and Kenny Exit Cartman *ugh* Goddammit,byou stepped on my foot you pigf**ker. Stan Dude, don�t say pigf**ker in front of Jesus Stan exits. Cartman Eh, f**k you. Music. Scene: Buildings Stan Here we are Jesus, South Park Mall. Who are you looking for? Jesus Him! Santa Ho ho ho. We meet again Jesus. Jesus You have blemished the meaning of Christmas for the last time, Kringle. Santa I bring happiness and love to children all over the world. Jesus Christmas is for celebrating my birth. Santa Christmas is for giving. Jesus I�m here to put an end to your blasphemy. Santa This time we finish it. stands. There can only be one. Stan Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here. Jesus and Santa fight. Kids Go Santa! Jesus looks at them. Uh, go Jesus! Jesus and Santa fight more, Mortal Kombat style. Kyle Oh my god! They killed Kenny! Jesus Boys, help me put an end to him once and for all. Santa No, boys, help me, so that I can put an end to him. Jesus God is watching you, boys. You know who to help. Santa Stan, remember the choo-choo when you were three. Jesus I died for your sins, boys. Don�t forget that. Stan I don�t know what to do, dude. Who should we help? Cartman I say we help Santa Claus. Kyle Eh, you�re just saying that because he brings you candy. Cartman Hey! I don�t need to take that kinda shit from a Jew. Kyle You�re such a fat f**k, Cartman, that when you walk down the street people go god DAMMIT that kid�s a BIG FAT F**K. Cartman Oh yeah? Well listen up... Santa Buttf**kin... Kyle I�m not the buttf**ker, you�re the buttf**ker... Stan Wait, wait just a second. Now we�ve got to think here. Now let�s see. What would Brian Boitani do? Cartman Yeah. What would Brian Boitani do? Music. Brian Boitani Appears. Brian Did someone say my name? Cartman Brian Boitani! Kyle What incredible irony! Cartman Yeah, it�s Brian Boitani! Brian What�s going on, kids? Stan Okay, Brian? Who would you help in a fight, Jesus or Santa Claus? Brian Kids...you shouldn�t think of things like that. This is the one time of year where we all try to get along, no matter what we believe in. This is the season just to be good to each other. Bi-eee! Brian skates away. Jesus You f**kin� pussy! Santa C�mere! Come on! Stan Hey! Jesus! You have to understand that Santa is keeping the spirit of your birthday alive by bringing happiness and joy. Kyle Yeah. And Santa, you need to remember that if it weren�t for Jesus, this day wouldn�t even exist! Santa You�re right kids. I�m sorry Jesus. Jesus No, no. It�s me who should be sorry. I�ve been a right bastard. I�m sorry Kringle. Santa Thank you boys. Jesus Yeah, thank you boys. Come on Kringle, I�ll buy you an Orange Smoothie. Santa oooo! Stan *whew* That sucked. Kyle Yeah, but just think. Today we actuslly met�we actually spoke�to _the_ Brian Boitani. Stan Yeah. And you know? I think I learned something today, it doesn�t matter if you�re Christian or Jewish or Atheist or Hindu. Chrismas still is about one very important thing: Cartman Yeah, ham. Stan No not ham, you fat f**k! Cartman F**k you! Stan Christmas is about something much more important. Kyle What? Stan Presents. Kyle Ah. Stan Don�t you see, Kyle? Presents Kyle Hey man, If you�re Jewish you get presents for eight days. Stan Wow, really? Count me in. Cartman Yeah, I�ll be a Jew too. Kids Leaving �Dreidel dreidel dreidel I made you out of clay Dreidel dreidel dreidel With dreidel I will play!� THE END
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